There was no denying it. The moment his heart and his mind collided and uniformly made the connection, his body could not possibly dare to contain the thought. It would feel akin to the pressure of the sun inside him, no doubt the heat, and the volatility of every colliding hydrogen atom at the sun’s core was but a shadow of the power he felt bursting from within him. 

“I love you, Jeremy.” He spoke the words simply, quietly, almost a whisper on the summer breeze. Even as soft as the words were on his tongue, they bored down upon the atmosphere like gravity, pulling towards his lips. Like the bass rumble of a nuclear bomb, and with similar searing heat, his heart thudded in his chest. 

Jeremy just looked at him, stunned. Inside him, it was like a violin string, taught and strong as steel, had been plucked and vibrated from the crown of his head to the tip of his spine. 

And like that, in the sticky, hot summer afternoon, in a room full of people at their wit’s end, they came together. Jeremy’s lips were cool, soft and supple, but held an urgency as they acknowledged the awakening in him. He had never contemplated love between him and another man, and had never fully understood why he could never comfortably be apart from Andrew for more than a few days. The gravity that held him there next to his friend had a name, love. More than a name, it had with it the missing information that completed his longing. The passion in their kiss was like a solar flare, popping and burning, connecting them for the first time. 

For both men, it was a reawakening. Andrew finally understood how he had been able to give up his life for Jeremy’s, and Jeremy understood finally why he could never allow Andrew’s life to be taken. It was selfish, for sure, but he understood that, were the situation reversed, the same result would have ensued. All it took was that four letter word, love. 

It is said that love is like fresh air. Whoever said it was wrong, very wrong indeed. Love was more than fresh air. It was the crushing wind that could topple trees in it’s wake, and still so gentle and constant that it could carry a butterfly across an ocean unscathed.

And then I woke up, weeping for more.

In every blade of grass, a story

In every breath of wind, a song

In every heartbeat, a poem

But where did it all go wrong?

I miss my innocent faith

I miss my optimism

Time has become a shadowy wraith

My experience become a schism.

They say the ones who always look to the sun

Never see the shadows

I’m here to tell you both always exist as one

Still, neither matters.

The darkness is dark, cold and sad

And the sunlight is bright, warm and dry

Find the balance before you go mad

Remember to cherish love before you die.

No greater commandment,

No greater lesson to learn

Than that which says to truly love

and be loved in return.

Haiku in Trinity

I.

In all my hustle

I take time for your bright smile

The sun stops for you

II.

Before bed each night

I see the green of your eyes

Stars weep with longing

III.

Daybreak brings new hope

And sears the world with passion

Nightfall tempers it

I love the sunshine. It rejuvenates your mood, and warms your skin with it’s feathery caresses. Even so, it is a constant reminder of the shadows. When you deny the duality of human life, by trying to live in the sun and live it’s burning exposition, you realize finally that the brighter it shines, the more stark the contrast is in the shadows. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every inhalation, an exhalation to follow. For every sunshiny bright moment, there is a dark calm to help ground you and make every moment precious in it’s own right.