I LOL’D

truthofblonde:

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(via truthofblonde-deactivated201109)

lgbtlaughs:

Henry Rollin’s comedy about homosexuality (Submitted by degeneratetrash)

[trigger warning for satirical use of slurs]

Back to tumblr!

IIIIIII’MMMMM BAAAAAAAAAAACK

I need to tumble around more often. I feel bad that I only use this site once in a while, its so great.

Why does today feel like this?

Dumbledore’s death is the singlemost beautiful, and most utterly despairing moment in film and literature in this decade. From the moment he dies until the Dark Mark is erased, the lamentations if humanity weighs upon my soul. Well done, well done.

Twilight Books 'Summary'.

• — Book 1. Twilight:
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: Hey.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG, I'm so silly. And horny.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: Yes. I'm dangerous. I sparkle.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG you're a vampire!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: Yes. Let's go play baseball.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• James: I like your girl, Edward. Gotta eat her.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: Roar.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• James: Omnomnom Bella.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG I'm screaming in agony! Yes, I will be a vampire!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: I'm gonna kill you, James! I'm gonna suck Bella as well.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Jacob: Oh, hi there!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• — Book 2. New Moon:
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: Oops, gotta go.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG don't leave me! OMG I'm so depressed and dying in agony again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Jacob: Oh hi there! I'm a semi-naked shape-shifter! (I mean, a werewolf!)
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG I don't miss Edward anymore, I love you Jake!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Alice: Edward is gonna kill himself!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG no! BRB Jake, you're not important anymore.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: I'm going to do the worst ever. I will sparkle Italians to death.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Volturi: You suck.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG leave him alone!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Volturi: OK, leave now bitches.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Jacob: I love you, Bella.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG I love Edward more, bye!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• — Book 3. Eclipse:
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Victoria: I'm back, bitch! I'ma cut you!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG no!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: I'ma protect you, dinner! (I mean, Bella)
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Jacob: I want to kill her too!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Riley: I will kill you!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG I'm frozen!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: Shit I'm so cold and can't get you hot.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Jacob: Move on bitch, I will warm this whore.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Victoria: You missed me bitches?
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: I killed James, you twat! Now you're dead!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG kiss me Jake! Kay, gotta go I'm marrying Edward.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• — Book 4. Breaking Dawn:
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: I don't want to fuck you, Bella. Marry me first.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: Shit, okay.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Jacob: My heart is broken!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG and so is my water! I've been prego for 3 days and now my baby is ready to go!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Edward: Oh no, a monster!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Renesmee: I'ma kill you, mom :3
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Volturi: We're gonna kill that bitch, she's a monster.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Bella: OMG finally I'm a vampire now! I'ma protect ma man and ma family and some other random bitches.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Volturi: Fine, you won.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
• Jacob: Bella I never loved you. I wanna fuck your daughter.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LAST ENEMY THAT SHALL BE DESTROYED IS DEATH

I just had this lovely conversation that led to where he was born. I love cleverbot.

BTW there should be a tumblr dedicated to this kind of thing. I would call it fuckyeahhugeasscookies or thestuffmydreamsaremadeof or maybe even isitblasphemytocallthiscookiegod?

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andjamelyyy:

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paaaahhhzooooookie! (x